Happy Birthday to Me!!!

This year I'm celebrating!!! Not usually being one for birthdays - they tend to bring me out in panic attacks and turn me into a sobbing wreck - this year I've approached it a bit differently - with a month of self-nurturing, informally known as "the month of me" - I was going to blog about it here, but found I needed it to be private, to be focused on me... rather than feeling a duty to share it with everyone else.

So instead I wanted to share the love another way, as I come out the other side of the month of me... and offer you 1% off the price of my books for every year of my life...

Just how old am I? Well my body and soul feel 43, or even 53 (which would be GREAT for your discount!!), which except for the creaky knees, rapidly whiting hair and crunching pelvis, is a good thing - it's the age I always imagined I needed to be to become myself in my fullness -  which I have felt for the first time this past year. But actually my birth cert tells me that I'm turning 33. Still can't believe I'm that "young"!

So I'm offering 33% off ALL of my books: MOON TIME; MOODS OF MOTHERHOOD  and REACHING FOR THE MOON (NOT cards, moon dials or gift sets) bought from The Happy Womb. You can buy as many as you want in one order - you get 33% off EVERY copy you buy, from the moment you get this email, until 20th June 23:00 (MST) (relax European friends, it's a US time, you'll all be fast asleep - except me, cos I'll be up pre-dawn to go to a very special women's performance with my soul sister! )

Use  discount code BDAY33 when you reach the shopping cart to avail of your 33% discount.

(All books come signed with a Dreaming Aloud bookmark. Irish customers will find a partial postage refund in their package to reflect postage costs.)

The plan is, I share this discount code with you as a gift. You buy all the books from my site that you've been longing for, but lack of cash has stood in your way. I pack them up and send them out on Friday, before heading off on our family holiday for more soul- nourishment (Barcelona here we come!!!) whilst you luxuriate in my books and get some much needed women's soul-magic, which is, I promise you, contained within their pages.

So stock up on my titles you haven't yet read. Treat yourself to the paperback versions of Kindle versions you may have gotten for free. Get a gift of one for a sister, daughter, niece or friend... This is, and will be, the biggest DISCOUNT sale of my books ANY WHERE this year. So HURRY!!! and remember to use  discount code BDAY33 when you reach the shopping cart to avail of your 33% discount.

And what can you give me for my birthday? (Thank you for asking!) I'd love a review on Amazon... or Good Reads... or your blog.

Thank YOU!

The unspeakables

First it was just grumpiness.
We put it down to her being just-three.
But it went on...
So we thought she must be coming down with something.
Then she got really fussy about her food.
Plus whining a whole lot more.
And tantrumming.
And night waking.
And then one night as I was putting her to bed, the dreaded words... "my bottom itches."
A friend had told me that day that she had just treated her kids.
Another had treated hers the week before.
So we headed straight to the pharmacy.
And it life got much better.
But we only treated her.
Because it hadn't been that long since the whole family had been double-dosed.
And then her older sister's tantrums grew.
And nightwaking.
And school-refusing-three-hour-biting-screaming-tantrums.
And we thought it couldn't possibly be the unspeakables.
This behaviour was just SO extreme.
Her face pale.
Dark rings under her eyes.
Angry and oppositional.
Wore her uniform (after we spent three hours getting her into it) day and night for a week.
It couldn't be worms.
Could it?
Really?
This is insane.
There has to be something bigger wrong with her.
And I thought about the post I wrote.
Proclaiming this miracle cure we had found.
And how thousands of mothers around the world had read it.
And I worried that it had just been coincidence.
That I would have to write a retraction... "sorry folks, it wasn't really worms..."
We had never had any physical proof that the unspeakables were really there.
We had to hold off on treatment for a few days - long car trips meant the side effects of the treatments were less desirable than the unbearable tantrumming.
And then we treated her.
One tiny tablet.
And four days later our girl was back.
Rosy cheeks, dark circles gone. Loving, happy, relaxed. Sleeping deeply. Skipping to school.
It really is her... our... miracle cure.
We have all just taken the second dose again... the moment I heard those infamous words "my bottom itches".

No idea what I'm talking about - read here...

Joy Pockets

Little gratitudes in the midst of everyday living...

10 days of sunshine 

***

A weekend retreat last weekend.

***

Watching Shiloh Sophia's painting videos

***

Cycling home

***

Starting the next book

***

Painting in rainbow colours

***

Girls' kisses

***

So many good books to read and review

***

New paints on their way!

***

Anticipating my birthday AND our two week holiday!

***

An incredibly successful launch for Reaching for the Moon - no one saying it's pants - if you think so, please keep them thoughts to yourself ;)

***

A great radio interview - cos these things usually terrify me (tho still can't listen to my own voice for more than 2 minutes without toe curling embarrassment). 

***

Homemade custard - well done Mr DA

Colour me happy

I'm back painting again, and loving it. Did I ever tell you how much I love playing with colour?

Ah yes, I did!

What struck me yesterday as I was busy "getting stuck" was nothing less than a revelation. I'd heard it before. But never really live it very often in my painting - but whenever I do, magic happens. So I thought I'd share it here.

What if I can't make any mistakes?

No, this is not woo-woo hippy-shit. It's true. The painting, or the book or whatever, if you are creating it from your own depths, has no way that it is supposed to be, supposed to look... it can be whatever it turns out to be. There are no mistakes. Really. Truly!

There is only creating. And re-creating. And re-creating. And re-creating. Until you decide to stop. I wrote a lot about the creative process in The Rainbow Way. And now I am really living it. I usually have to write stuff to get it into a deeper part of my consciousness.

So here is how I have been playing with colour this past couple of days. All in varying stages of "completion"...

Working over underpainting can be scary - you get attached to what is, and nervous that you will ruin it all. That's why this one has been paused for so many months. But courage in hands it has gone from this...

To this...

This one needs to be seen in person - the colours just put me into a trance... I had SO much fun doing it. It's called Rainbow Tapestry.

I shared this one on Facebook last week, but not on here... it's called Tree Sisters,  inspired by the organisation Tree Sisters. It's nearly done...

This one is probably going to be for the next issue of JUNO magazine, to go alongside a feature on girls' rites of passage. She emerged this morning. After months of underpainting going nowhere, she still has quite a way to go, but I love the movement, and the patterns on her dress, being echoed by what will probably be butterflies wings, against the rich, flat gold.

And this is one I did for last summer's exhibition, as everyone seemed to love watermelon pictures, and I sold my first. It was too simple, it didn't sell, so now it's going in a more cherry blossom polka dot direction! Still a way to go, but the colours make me feel so summery, it's a hard one to photograph in the morning sunshine!

Doing it right: what I knew before I had kids...

Welcome to the June 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting in Theory vs. in Reality
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants are sharing how their ideas and methods of parenting have changed. 

I am very honoured that my post was selected to be featured on the Natural Parents Network  website today, so you'll have to head over there to read the whole thing!! 

I also wanted to let you know you can catch me on www.12radio.com today talking about my new book, Reaching for the Moon: a girl's guide to her female cycles which launched last week, currently available from my website The Happy Womb and Amazon.

***

Before I had children I knew, to the marrow of my bones, that I would do it right.
I was born to be a good mother. A mother who was available, devoted and loving.
A mother who was always there, without question.
I would know how to soothe a crying baby. Though of course my babies would not cry very much.
And my babies would sleep.
Because I would do it right.


Read more about my parenting journey in my guest post today at Natural Parents Network. They are featuring my post - Doing It Right: What I Knew Before I Had Kids - for the June 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting!

***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (posts will be live and updated no later than afternoon on June 11):

• My little gastronomes — "I'll never cook a separate meal for my children," Maud at Awfully Chipper vowed before she had children; but things didn't turn out quite as she'd imagined.
• Know Better, Do Better. Except When I Don't. — Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy was able to settle in her parenting choices before her children arrived, but that doesn't mean she always lives up to them.
• Judgments Made Before Motherhood — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks back on her views of parents she came in contact with before she became a mother and how much her worldview of parenting has changed!
• A Bend in The Road — Lyndsay at ourfeministplayschool writes about how her visions of homeschooling her son during the elementary school years have changed drastically in the last year - because HE wants to go to school.
• I Wish Children Came with Instruction Manuals — While Dionna at Code Name: Mama loves reading about parenting, she's not found any one book that counts as an instruction manual. Every child is different, every family is different, every dynamic is different. No single parenting method or style is the be-all end-all. Still, wouldn't it be nice if parenting were like troubleshooting?
• The Mistakes I've Made — Kate at Here Now Brown Cow laments the choices she made with her first child and explains how ditching her preconceived ideas on parenting is helping her to grow a happy family.
• I Only Expected to Love... — Kellie at Our Mindful Life went into parenting expecting to not have all the answers. It turns out, she was right!
• They See Me Wearin', They Hatin' — Erin Yuki at And Now, for Something Completely Different contemplates putting her babywearing aspirations into practice, and discussed how she deals with "babywearing haters."
• Parenting Human Beings — Erika Gebhardt lists her parenting "mistakes," and the one concept that has revolutionized her parenting.
• Doing it right: what I knew before I had kids... — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud, guest posting at Natural Parents Network realises that the number one game in town, when it comes to parenting, is judgement about doing it right. But "doing it right" looks different to everybody.
• A synopsis of our reality as first time parents — Amanda at My Life in a Nut Shell summarizes the struggles she went through to get pregnant, and how her daughter's high needs paved the way for her and her husband to become natural parents.
• Theory to Reality? — Jorje compares her original pre-kid ideas (some from her own childhood) to her personal parenting realities on MommaJorje.com.
• The Princess Paradigm — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen had planned to raise her daughter in a sparkly, princess-free home, but in turn has found herself embracing the glitz.
• Healthy Eating With Kids: Ideal vs. Real — Christy at Eco Journey In The Burbs had definite ideas about what healthy eating was going to look like in her family before she had kids. Little did she realize that her kids would have something to say about it.
• How to deal with unwanted parenting advice — Tat at Mum in Search thought that dealing with unwanted parenting advice would be a breeze. It turned out to be one of her biggest challenges as a new mum.
• How I trained my 43 month old in 89 days! — Becky at Old New Legacy used to mock sticker charts, until they became her best friend in the process of potty training.
• My Double Life: Scheduling with Twins — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot was banging her head against the wall trying to keep up with the plan she made during pregnancy, until she let her babies lead the way.
• Parenting in the land of compromise — As a holistic health geek trying to take care of her health issues naturally, Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama regrets that her needs sometimes get in the way of her children's needs.
• Practice Makes Good, Not Perfect — Rachael at The Variegated Life comes to see that through practice, she just might already be the parent she wants to be.
• 3 Dangerous Myths about Parenting and Partnering: How to Free Yourself and Your Family — Sheila Pai at A Living Family shares in theory (blog) and reality (video) how she frees herself from 3 Dangerous Myths about Parenting and Partnering that can damage the connection, peace and love she seeks to nurture in her relationships with family and others.
• 5 Things I Thought MY Children Would Never Do — Luschka at Diary of a First Child largely laughs at herself and her previous misconceptions about things her children would or wouldn't do, or be allowed to do.
• Policing politeness — Lauren at Hobo Mama rethinks a conviction she had about modeling vs. teaching her children about courtesy.
• The Before and The After: Learning about Parenting — Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work reminisces about the perspective she held as a young adult working with children (and parents) . . . before she became a mother.
• Parenting Beliefs: Becoming the Parent You Want to Be — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how we can make a mindful decision to become the parent we want to be. Decisions we make affect who we will become.
• The Great Breastfeeding Debacle — In Lisa at The Squishable Baby's mind, breastfeeding would be easy.
• What my daughter taught me about being a parent — Mrs Green asks, "Is it ever ok to lock your child in their bedroom?"
• Sensory Box Fail! — Megan at The Boho Mama discovers that thoughtful sensory activities can sometimes lead to pasta in your bra and beans up your nose.
• Montessori and My Children – Theory vs. Reality — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiences with Montessori parenting and describes the results she sees in her now-adult children.
• How I Ended Up Like My Tiger Mom With Peaceful Parenting — Theek at The Laotian Commotion somehow ended up like her Tiger Mom, even though she purposely tried for the complete opposite as a peaceful parent.
• I Like The Mother I Am Now More Than The Mother I Intended To Be — Darcel at The Mahogany Way thought she would just give her kids the look and they would immediately fall in line.

<!-- END BOTTOM STRAIGHT LIST CODE --!>

Good Job... In Praise of Praise!

People in the big wide world can often be pretty short on praise. 

People in the natural parenting world can get their knickers in a tremendous knot about it. 

I know how it makes me feel. 

And sure I should be a big enough person, and it shouldn't matter, I should just instinctively know how great I am. 

But truth is I don't. 

And it does matter hugely. 

To me and most people I know. 

To be honest I don't enjoy spending time round people who are totally convinced of their own awesomeness with no room for a compliment top-up... 

I like to hang with my fellow neurotic/ creative/ sensitive types...

we tend to be more quirky, and empathetic... 

I like saying genuine encouraging things to everyone. 

Big and small. 

I LOVE appreciating people. 

In words.

Written or spoken.

It's one of my hobbies. 

It makes them... and me... feel great.

And it tends to kindle more magic in the world.

I'm not into bribery or rewards. Or stickers. 

Fucking stickers. 

But appreciation.

YUP.

Defo!

We all need to feel the glow that someone values who we are and what we are doing. 

It shouldn't be the be all and end all. 

But it really matters. 

Now..

I can be quite impatient and moaney with my dearest kidlets.

I give out when I'm cranky.

But I'm aware of my negative speak. 

It comes out when I'm not right.

And when I focus on it, I get all tangled up in guilt and yuckiness. 

So I try, when I can, to focus on the power of my positive words. 

And I think that my words of appreciation outweigh the bleeurghs, two or three to one... at least. 

It was only on reading the e-book, Encouraging Words for Kids by Kelly Bartlett,

How unimaginative I am so often when I appreciate my children.

That realised how many times a day certain words fall from my mouth....

"Good job!" 

Often "Great Job!" 

Which is like a double "Good Job!"

She centres in on this... so it seems I'm not the only one who's over-using this praise bullet in my affirmation arsenal...

What do I mean by this. What am I really communicating?

It's a positive affirmation, sure...

But a bit lazy. 

And then I thought, prompted by this... I am encouraging them to think of what they're doing is good. That they need my approval. That they being good...

And a job...like "work"

hmmm.....

Time to come up with some alternatives...

I love the suggestions she gives. 

I will be printing them off to have them at eye level to remind myself. 

They are precise. 

Genuine. 

Far more imaginative than "Good Job!"

So now every time I say "Good Job!",  I am aware. 

Bing goes my inner ear!

And I turn it into something more specific. 

To tell my kids WHAT it is I am enjoying and appreciating.

***

I also loved another blog post I read months ago, lord knows who by, where the mama noticed herself doing this and thought hard about what she was wanting to communicate. And she realised that what she was really trying to say was: "I love watching you..." "I love seeing you..." 

She wanted to reflect back the pleasure that she got in watching them, being with them, witnessing them. Not their achievement, or behvaiour. But her joy at their being their and being them and doing their thing, and her having the privilege to watch them do it.

I've adopted that idea too. 

And love saying it and my kids love hearing it. 

And its true for everyone who loves their kids.

We love seeing them being their mad, quirky, intelligent, feisty, courageous, inquisitive selves.

Encouraging Words for Kids by Kelly Bartlett, is part of the e-bundle of 22 Mindful Nurturing e-resources available until this Sunday for just $24.95. So this is almost your last chance to buy.

Buy it here! 

Questions about e-bundles and e-books and what I get when you buy via me - see here!

Reaching for the Moon launched today! Grab your FREE e-copy!

Ooooooooooooooohhhh mama what a day! 

I have (as those of you who are on FB/ Twitter or signed up to my mailing list) been launching of my third book – Reaching for the Moon, the girl's version of my much-loved first book, Moon Time. (Be sure to read to the bottom of this post to find out how you can get your FREE e-copy!)

WOWSER the response has been tremendous! The steam is fizzing off my computer! And my brain! I'm feeling short of breath and my heart is racing - in a good way! Within an hour it had been requested for review for a US parenting magazine!

It's so funny how different it is to the launch of Moon Time. My very first book launch. A bit like the first time one has sex (yes, it does all have to come back to sex on here, that's how we roll at Dreaming Aloud!) - messy, feeling very exposed and not very coordinated.

What amazes me is how much social networking has changed since the last launch, just how BIG Facebook is... and how much more connected I am to so many beautiful, connected women (how much I have changed), and how much of an appetite there is out there for my work. It is truly humbling. And exciting. 

There are three responses I am getting 

1) "Oh wow, I've been waiting for a book like this..."

2) "I've been waiting for YOU to write this book - at LAST, I've been asking for at least a year!"

3) "Another book? Seriously... Which one is this again?"

This is Reaching for the Moon - a girl's guide to her female cycles.Written especially for girls aged 9-14 as they anticipate and experience their body's gradual changes. This has been requested time and again by mothers, godmothers and aunts who wanted a gentle, loving, soulful introduction to women’s cycles for the special girls in their lives. 

ISBN: 1482363038

80 page paperback or Kindle.

Beginning with an imaginary journey into the red tent, a traditional place of women's wisdom, some of the gifts and secrets of womanhood are imparted in a gentle, lyrical way including:

* The secrets of the moon.

* The secrets of our cycles.

* The gift of self-care.

 Along with practical advice on:

* Preparing for her first period.

* Choosing menstrual products.

* Herbal healing.

* Celebrating menarche.

Reaching for the Moon is a nurturing celebration of a girl’s transformation to womanhood.

It is available as a signed copy + bookmark + FREE greetings card of one of my paintings (usually €2.50) from The Happy Womb. £6.99 + P&P

(Orders will be dispatched from 11^th June. Offer available until 23^rd June.)

It is also available from Amazon as a paperback or ebook.

(Buy on Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com.)

***TRY BEFORE YOU BUY!***

From today until Sunday (midnight PST) you can download your

FREE Kindle version, so you can sample it before purchasing for the special girls in your life. (Please note you do NOT need a Kindle to read it. Kindle books can be read on tablets, android phones and computers).

Free Kindle copy - UK customers only.

Free Kindle copy – rest of world.

Please do share it far and wide, on Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook and by email - let's get copies into as many mama's hands as possible.

My Husband's a Stripper!: "Room for Improvement"

"We're heading to West Cork to see a friend, and Mr Dreaming Aloud is stripping..."

So read my text to a friend who invited us to meet up this weekend...

Stripping...wallpaper that is! Get those visions of my dear hubby out of your dirty minds right now. Actually talking of dirty... no, we'll get to that later. Back to the wallpaper...

There are certain areas in any home which make your heart sink... Mine was the hallway. Always the hallway. From the first moment I stepped into it, on our first viewing of the house, I hated it. It could be summed up in three words:

Orange paint-effect wallpaper.

The rest of the house was beautifully decorated and detailed by a woman with exquisite taste. 

But the wallpaper was hideous. And the first thing you saw when you entered the house.

But this was not the only problem in the hall, oh no, over the three years we lived in the house we have also added our own...

• lots of rips to it - as modeled by two of the prime culprits - don't trust those cute faces!
• a huge coat mountain just inside the door, filling the whole space under the stairs. Well, in truth it was coats on top, with a central core of unpacked picnic and swimming bags, endless bags of books packed by our three-year-old, odd shoes... (somehow I forgot to take a photo of that!)
• a hideous Argos shoe shelf which again only sported odd shoes, as all shoes worn on a daily basis were variously scattered around the sitting room floor, or lying in wait at the bottom of the stairs.
• our nature table took root on the top half of the dresser a couple of weeks after we moved in, it was joined by library books, unopened post, foreign coins, random bits of Lego, all of which I had to pile up into a leaning pile of crap to take pretty pictures for you on the blog!

So there we have it. Our house. I felt SUCH shame any time anyone, especially neighbours called to the door. Because their hallways are all clean. And light and bright. And  most definitely not full of shit. I, in all honesty, was composing a pretty sign that I was going to put on the front door which said - I spend my time writing books and painting which is why our house is a mess.... But was just trying to figure out how to make that sound clever... 

And then, as my humour went into hibernation and my feelings of despondency about our family pit grew, I was approached and offered money to redecorate a room in my house for a promotion called "Room for Improvement", run by the lovely people at Money Supermarket.com. So I said hell yeah - I'm like that, I like free money. Especially money I can throw at my husband whilst he sweats (if you know what I mean!!) ... He is a fine stripper you see... I happen to be married to a man who comes from a long-line of obsessive DIY home improvers. He enjoys it, relishes it even. And I love the results!

The point of this exercise? To show that with just a little money you can make big transformations in your home. And as you know, Dreaming Aloud is all about creative transformations, both inner and outer!

So a plan was formed. I would, with heavy heart, take my kiddies down to West Cork for the weekend to visit my soul sister and her children, where we would sit on the beach and drink wine and not-stop-talking-for-the-whole-weekend. Whilst he would hire a (wall-paper) stripper, buy paint and spend the weekend slogging away. I had the tough end of the deal, I know, but hey!

So just as we were about to leave he informs me that Mr Google says a wallpaper stripper machine thingy is a last resort, that it should just pull down quite easily. So I take an overhanging corner, the one that has made me cringe with shame every day for years... And pull... 

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH MMYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!
I groaned... The noises I start making were most definitely X-rated! 

If you are like me and you get a slightly twisted sexual pleasure from squeezing blackheads (especially other peoples'), peeling sunburn or picking scabs, then you will understand QUITE how much fun this was. I may have referenced that this was as pleasurable as my most fun bedtime activity. This received a rather odd look and curt reply from Mr Dreaming Aloud - I feel I may not be on the receiving end of such pleasures for a while to come.  But I digress. 

The children on hearing these strange noises coming from their mother and seeing me pulling down the wall coverings enquired if I was supposed to be doing that. When I informed them I was, their next question was if they could too? So between us we pulled down the hideous paper (except for one small wall, behind the coat mountain) in under five minutes. They take after their mother, I think, from the squeals of glee coming from them!

And then we left him to the "real work". We piled into the car. Had a spiffing weekend of jolity, including a sleep over!  And came home to THIS!!!! 

Yes, this is my house! For the cost of a tin of paint, roller, tray, some wood and nails. Pure, beautiful, white walls - certain members of the family have been strongly talked to about NOT redecorating it in the kindergarten style!

Mr DA officially moved a mountain - look - clear empty space!!!!! That's like an endagered creature in our house!!

I almost ran down the road to get my best neighbour friend in before it got messed up, she of the tidiest most beautifully kept house containing three young kids perhaps in the whole of Ireland. But it was bed time, so I didn't! So do call round soon and see us before it gets messed up!

It feels a little like our own private art gallery, with paintings by my dad, my uncle, two soul sisters/ daughter's fairy godmothers, my mother and me...

It's focal point our very own dedicated nature table... to celebrate the seasons and share creative inspiration with all who enter our home.

And shoe rack... made with reclaimed bricks!

I feel very, very proud of my home. And my husband. What a man!

Need some mothering support? This might be just what you need...

How is life in your parenting world? 

Are you like me and feeling ground down by the whole thing? Do you need a bit of inspiration, support and encouragement? Do you need a bit of gentle reassurance? Someone to hold your hand and let you really feel that you are not alone?...

But you're stuck to the house, and money's tight. Sound familiar? Yup, I'm with you sister!

That is why I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to be involved with a very special package of parenting goodies ... (can you spot my book??!!!!!)

 

The Mindful Parenting eBundle contains more than 22 carefully selected e-products by renowned authors. Some of these products are only available as a standalone through this bundle! This bundle sale is a one-time opportunity, available only from May 28 to June 10, 2013. 

The Mindful Parenting eBundle gives you answers to the most pertinent parenting questions in a variety of formats: e-mail courses, e-books, audio, and e-magazine. Some of the topics in this bundle include children and food, nurturing creativity, relaxation for parents, connecting through play, peaceful parenting, parenting through divorce, and many more. 

There are 3 resources for stress relief for parents, 6 peaceful guidance tools, 5 creative play resources, 3 motherhood resources, plus bonus resources and a freebie! All for just $24.95!!!

CHECK IT OUT HERE ...

(Got questions? I've probably answered them in the FAQ section at the bottom of the page.) 

Why am I sharing this?

1) Because I am one of the contributing authors! You can get a free e-copy of my second book Moods of Motherhood.

2) Because it has been organised by some mama bloggers who I have collaborated with for a number of years and respect deeply: Amy Phoenix, Authentic Parenting, Hobo Mama, Hybrid Rasta Mama...

3) There are so many goodies there that I wanted to get my hands on too, like:

• Renowned menstrual educator DeAnna L'am's Coming Of Age Guide: How To Stop Worrying About “The Talk,” and Start Talking With Your Girl! (I've been wanting to listen to this for a couple of years!)
•  A Creative Play Workshop,
• The e-zine Play Grow Learn,

As well as resources on:

• supporting kids through divorce, 
• a holistic approach to stress and depression, 
• play, 
• raising a creative kid, 
• parenting for social change,
• children and food,
• a guide to sleep talking...

I hope to go into some of them here in more detail over the next couple of weeks.

4) And mainly because I'm all about sharing resources that make parenting easier, that nurture us and our families...

Click here to visit Mindful Nurturing. 

Last time I promoted an ebundle I got LOTS of questions, so here are the answers!!

How does it work?

Go to the website and have a good look at all the details. See what an incredible package it is. Then once you purchase, via Pay Pay, a link will be sent to you. This allows you to download all the e books and recordings onto your computer, ipad or i phone. You then get to keep them forever and come back to them as often as you need. 

How do ebooks work? 

Ebooks are just an electronic file, usually a PDF. If you can open a document on your device, you can read an ebook.

Do I need a Kindle?

You can use a Kindle to read e books, but you don't have to. You can use your computer, ipad or i phone too. 

I'm not techie...

That's fine, you don't need to be. Once you receive your link, click onto whichever of the products you want to download, and your computer does the rest. It really is SUPER simple.

Is it a good deal really, Lucy?

I think so, otherwise I woudn't be involved. I trust and respect the organisers and know many of the contributors. I've seen the contents myself. This is good stuff made by good people.

What about the recordings?

You can listen to them on your computer, ipad or i phone, or your MP3 player.

When does the sale end? 

June 10^th at 11:59pm PST

What is the freebie?

The freebie is a recording of the Attachment Parenting International (API) Teleseminar Series: “8 Principles of Attachment Parenting” featuring 8 experts including 

Dr. William Sears

Martha Sears

Dr. James McKenna

Ina May Gaskin

Break it down for me...

So for 22 eProducts, a Total Value of $274 USD, works out at just $1.13 per item... 

Often in these bundles the initial price of the products is exagerrated... here it is most definitely not. A number of the very humble mothers price their work at $2-$3 dollars.

Dollars, Lucy??? I don't speak dollars! What's it cost in real money?

€19.33 (euros) 

£16.54 sterling. 

About the price of a book and a half...

What do you get from it, Lucy?

This is an affiliate link - which means that I get paid a percentage of the profits from the sale. The link uses cookies so that if you check it out, but don't buy till next week, the computer magic will know that you came from Dreaming Aloud and so I still get paid. You pay the same, and I get paid for my work! That feels good to me :)

Joy Pockets

Little pockets of gratitude from the week...

Making a late spring random act of beauty from the flowers in our garden

Creating our little veggie garden being watched by our resident robin.

***

Sublime baking - blueberry buttermilk cake yesterday and the BEST choc chip cookies today - both recipes on my Queen of Puddings blog

***

Catching the end of a powerful interview with Alice Walker on Desert Island Discs - she talks all about being a creative mother in a very raw way. Do listen to it!

***

Sunshine

***

Painting again - I LOVE colour! 

***

Merrily riding her bike with such confidence, even though it's only been a week since she learnt. We've been on lots of family bike rides this week. 

***

Ash growing up, visited pre-school this week. I feel the time when I get five work mornings a week approaching fast!

***

Making invites for our community Big Lunch

***

Getting excited about the possibility of having a wonderful Educate Together second level school in our local area - giving it a massive dose of my energy to make it happen.

***

Feeling quite chuffed with my photos!

Shit or glory...

I have paint on my fingers again. And I am reluctant to wash them. I love looking like a Creative Rainbow Mama!

It wasn't easy. To get back into painting. But a friend wanted me to do a picture for a book cover.

I had promised myself (promised her) when my books were done that I would. But it's easier to sit at a computer and feel like I'm doing something "good" to make us money, rather than plug into the old creative mojo and take the risk of nothingness or ecstasy. Shit or glory. Really it is.

And so I took my paints into the sunshine, to recharge the old mojo. And loosened up my body. And hummed James Taylor at the top of my lungs (have you ever  noticed that ALL his songs have the same tune?)

And I played with colour... there is now paint on my face, on my fingers, on my shoes, shirt, and ALL over the grass... but it's OK, because a) it's not my grass and b) it will grow out before the owner returns.

This post was not supposed to be about paint.

It was supposed to be about other things... like the theme for this month...yes I was organised, I had a theme - it seems to be some weird thing I do every May!

But I'm a bit stuck to be honest. Words. Stuck. Not working. Stiff and awkward. No flow.

But my painting was free...ish. And colourful.

And I'm not sure if the friend will like it. And am preparing myself to do another because I'm sure it won't be right...

And I realise that the painting thing, and this blogging thing... they're stuck because I have expectations about what the end result should be. I aint much good at should. I'm good at turning up, diving in, going the flow and seeing where it takes me...

Which is actually rather cunning, bearing in mind her book is called the Go with the Flow Birth Planner.

And the thing about going with the flow is it's almost always pretty fucking messy. You get covered in paint and cum and shit and amniotic fluid and puke - and that's on a good day! It's usually scary at the beginning. Cos we're used to join-the-dots living, with expert guides and careful plans to hold our hands and steer our course.

But fuck it, living the orgasm of creativity is more exciting by far. And more frustrating. And it won't pay the bills every week. But usually the end result just blows you away. And your mind shatters into a million pieces of delight.

Today's post was not going to be about this! But there it is... shit or glory!

What stands between us and the greatness of our potential?

I have just been reminded of these words...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. 

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. 

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. 

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

In the midst of playing it the biggest I ever have in my life, I got a momentary glimpse... of just how small this is... and how vast my potential is.

I have been protecting myself... and the world... from the vastness of my potential.  Because still I am scared. Of other people. Of life. Of no. Of what if things go wrong. Or not knowing where to start. Of having to have the answers. Of what the future holds.

I have been playing small. Small of vision. In order to stay safe. In order to be loved. In order to not make mistakes.

My neck has frozen. Louise L Hay says this is a sign of  inflexibility. No shit, I thought. But also quite profound. I went to the chiropractor looking for a quick fix. It felt like just one vertebra had clicked out of place, and just needed someone else, ie her, to fix it for me and I'd be good to go.

But no. Apparently not an option. It turns out it's muscles. Overstretched. Are we getting the layers of metaphor here? And that when they're overstretched they seize up, to protect themselves. They form armour. Ummmm, yup.

Last week I realised just how much I cut myself off, I disconnect, to feel safe. If I'm in overwhelm I disconnect - from those who love me, from the outside world, from FLOW.

Flow... being ease, connection, love, pleasure, release, god, unity with all things....

I write about flow. I know flow intellectually. I have experienced it so many times creatively. There's a whole flipping sub-chapter about it in my next book (The Rainbow Way), for flips sake. But knowing... knowing is just one thing. Living... living it is a different matter. In living it is not just our brain cells that have to resonate with it, but every cell in our beings. They have to resonate with it in order to bring it forth into our material reality. But often they are so armoured with their programming of lack, of disconnection, that they simple recreate that reality instead.

***

I was at women's group on Sunday bemoaning the fact that I can't paint, as in it just won't flow, and I don't know where to start. It has become blocked up again. And I feel sad and frustrated. I really miss painting.

And then I was put in touch with a soul-sister, by name and art - Lucy Pierce - a painter of labyrinths and women, a writer of soul poems and sculptor of birthing figurines (do check out her beautiful work). And it was like seeing a version of myself if I just let myself go, if I were able to free myself up and flow in  my creativity. Her work is the maturity of my fits and starts. And I don't know the first thing about her (why did none of you introduce her to me?????) but her whole site is just beautiful, poised, self-assured. I do not see all the self-doubt and internal interrogating and angst that go on in my head, in her work. I do not see the constant U turns. I see a woman in flow with herself. And then I had a rather funny epiphany, that I know many people experience that finding me and my work. I know because I get their emails. And so it was nice to be in the reversed position.

And it let me see, for a moment who or what I might be if I could let the veil of self-doubt drop and stay in flow, and follow the flow. And I'm not belittling myself - I know I am really getting that with my books. But with my art and other short writings there is a constant self-questioning. Which uses up precious creative energy. Which swallows up bright potential in the darkness of doubt. It limits and narrows me, because I believe, still, that there are vast areas which are "not me" that I have no access to, or permission to enter.

I armour myself to protect myself from life. Because its vastness scares me. And I believe that if I don't know where to start, then it's safer not to start at all...

And I know that I am not alone. In fact, I know that in reality I am a lot further along this path than a lot of people, in that I am doing my ideal work, I am my own boss, I have a wide range of creative expression, I have a family life set up the way that works for me, and a partnership which I have visioned and adapted to support me best.

I shan't tell you what I started dreaming of regarding potential new work yesterday, in the midst of neck-agony. Let's just say it was the fruition of an old dream, combined with current dreams. A possibility I hadn't conceived of only days before. And which you WON'T be expecting... I am going to sit with it for a while...

So, dearest reader, what are you protecting yourself from? How are you clinging to the branches of familiarity rather than diving into the flow and abandoning yourself to the possibility of your own greatness? What parts of life, or yourself are off limits? How might you begin to strip the armour away.

Do you have an inkling of just what potential you have, and how small you choose to keep yourself? My guess is no!

Lost in Living - The reality of the artist mother.

“This is not how it was supposed to be.”

There are two conspiracies in this world that you only become aware of too late as a woman. 

The first, traditionalist argument, says that motherhood is the ultimate act of femininity. That it’s natural. That nothing else is more important. That you cannot curtail it without serious consequences. And if you can't do it easily and naturally then there must be something wrong with you.

The second, feminist stance, says that motherhood should not be a woman’s central function. That she is equal to men. And that includes in her right (some say obligation) to do paid work. And to hopefully have a fulfilling career.

Only after I found myself in the midst of the battle field, did I realise that I had one foot in both camps. I valued hands-on motherhood (parts of it came naturally, parts did not), and I valued my paid work. Equally. 

But the sort of work I did, the sort of work I valued, was not the sort that society values… unless you hit the big time. To be a creative you’re on your own in terms of child care, mentoring and all that jazz.

But creativity is so much more than just a “job”. It is a calling, an urge, a fight for freedom, a path to sanity. And it can be a very lonely, dispiriting business as a mother when you are driven by this compulsion, and those around you don’t understand it. Or think you should be doing something that pays better. Or is more reliable. Or that you should just give yourself fully to your children.

This is the life of the artist-mother. Pulled in two directions by two equal passions. Floundering to form her own identity. This is what my book, The Rainbow Way: cultivating creativity in the midst ofmotherhood  focuses on – every aspect of this conundrum, and how to solve it in your own life (the book is out November 2013 - to get a taster, sign up to my mailing list for an abridged ebook version).

This is what a very special film, which has just been released, also focuses on. Lost in Living is a documentary film by Mary Trunk, filmed over 8 years, which follows the lives of four creative mothers: an author, visual artist, painter and film maker, as they navigate and reflect on the challenges of making art as they mother.

As one of the mothers featured shares: 

“It’s easier to work my ass off than be a mum. When you have little children it’s hard to find time to concentrate. My work saved me.”

It is heart rending. It is enlightening. And it will make you cry. Big, snotty, body wrenching sobs of identification with the four protagonists. It works so well because it tells the truth and breaks down a taboo – the taboo that we are not enough, that we are not good enough, and that we are alone. It is painful watching at times as relationships are tested to breaking by these twin urges of motherhood and creativity. And as finances force decisions that might not otherwise be taken. It also shines a light on the unspoken – the elements of depression that all four creative mothers grapple with, which both fuels, and retards their creativity.

“There are less and less people to see you as you really are [when you’re a mother] and so I feel compelled to witness myself.”

“Making art fixes [my life] it puts a sheen back on everything,”

Lost in Living lifts the lid on the reality of creative motherhood, and every creative mother who watches it will see her soul writ large on the screen. I thoroughly recommend you check out the trailer and the various clips from the film on the Lost in Living website.

“Motherhood and art… they’re both about hope.”

Joy Pockets: two dreams in one week

Last week was one enormous joy pocket, two dreams come true, and so I am departing from the normal Joy Pockets format to share them with you.

When I was a little girl, aged 7 and 8,  I used to play by myself in the playground every day. I had a game which captivated me: presenting a TV cookery show. Showing the imaginary audience how to bake chocolate cakes and vegetable soups with bits of old leaf and lots of imagination - narrating the steps to culinary heaven. Even then I wanted to teach, to share, to inspire.

I started out writing wanting to be the next big cookery writer – I had visions of myself as Nigella Lawson or Delia Smith! I wrote to them and asked their advice on how to be a food writer when I was in my late teens. 

Then in my late twenties I wrote articles which I submitted to food magazines, got a food column in a parenting magazine, and started a baking blog. I loved cooking, loved reading food writing, loved writing, so being a food writer seemed a natural step. 

Except that’s not where my creative passion ended up being. And in the end, when I wrote my first book, both the content and the style made me dizzy with delight, but were completely unexpected. My first book, despite seven earlier attempts at everything from poetry to a spice cookery book, was on the menstrual cycle!

In truth there is a rather large part of me that thinks that whilst cake is heaven, there is more to life, and that being a food writer was a little inconsequential, and a bit of a cop out.

I have a strange sense of obligation. And as a member of a race that is living unconsciously, I feel I can play my part better by helping to wake us all up to co-creating a brighter culture in more constructive ways than by encouraging people to bake cakes.

But the dream has always lingered.

And so I have kept my littlest blog going, my baking blog, The Queen of Puddings. And I'm so glad I did, as it means I have kept one foot in that dream, in that world. 

So last year when I was invited to teach food blogging at Ballymaloe Cookery School by our family friend, and  Ireland's most famous food writer I was honoured. I have now been teaching the for a year, (you can join me for our next 1/2 day course there next Saturday 18th May, it doesn't matter if food blogging is not your thing, the majority of the course is a practical "how to" which applies to any sort of blogging). She then invited me to help set up her blog, and I act as her blogging consultant now, which is SUCH an exciting job!

So when I was invited to speak at the Ballymaloe Lit Fest, alongside so many of my culinary heroes I was honoured, and, if truth be told, bloody terrified. There was lots of imposter syndrome floating round inside my skull. I tried to chicken out a couple of times. But they were having none of it!

(See me, seated at the end, on the right - that's me with the big hippy skirt!)

The festival was last weekend, and though I started off shaky and nervous, I was interested to note that all the other speakers did too. None of them was at ease at the opening ceremony, having to make small talk with strangers. Note to self: all heroes are human too!

The weekend was a blast, a great way to unwind after the stresses of the previous months, with good food, drink, music, culinary inspiration, a little sunshine and friendships - old and new. I made lots of new connections which I look forward to nurturing. It felt so good to be part of such a vibrant, positive community atmosphere. These things really matter.

And I felt, by the end of the weekend, like "I can do this!" I may not be a big name to match the likes of Madhur Jaffrey or David Thompson. But I have a lot to offer, and people came away from interacting with me full: full of answers, ways forward, possibilities and confidence - and that is my intention always, always - through my books, my blogs, my teaching... You might learn some interesting recipes from me - but my driving motivation is to empower you to get out there and do your thing, share your talents, add your voice, so that YOU are there on stage helping shape this world. And I don't have to be well-known to do that at all. But it's great to have a platform like last weekend to reach more, and different, people.

And so this last week has been a literal bursting forth of two dreams in one week: being a cookery writer, and submitting my manuscript to my REAL publisher. Two dreams. One week. And the biggest dream of all is that those dreams are going to give fuel to so many other dreams, just by being out there. 

So I'm grateful, very grateful that I did it. Because Lord knows it's taken all of my courage and VAST amounts of energy.

And I'm so grateful to my hubby, Mr DA, who manned the family fort so I could do it. And to my kiddies for letting me go. And to all my friends who have barely seen or heard from me these past few months.

What a joy pocket it's been!